Victoria Beckham is Coming to America... Can we send her back?

Desperate to escape Hollywood, I am only sucked back in by it's gripping claws.

I visited London last year and I heard that Ms. Posh Spice otherwise known as Mrs. David Beckham, is much like America's perception of Paris Hilton... A waste of space. I laughed as I usually do at these tidbits of information.

Recently, I cringed at the thought that L.A's Galaxy team brought on board "soccer superstar" David Beckham... During the last bout of championships, I watched him play, wherever that was, and thought, "Hmm, that's weird, he sucks." So it's only befitting that someone who is now a deflating soccer athelete join L.A's "football" team. And it's only proper that sponsors throw millions of dollars at his feet (or really at Posh's high-heeled feet).

I want to be one of those people who say, "I don't have a television." But really, who am I kidding? I even have a fancy DVR now, so I can record a bunch of crap I don't need to infect my brain with. I found this wildly tittilating NBC reality show that said the words "Victoria Beckham" in the title, and, intrigued, I could not not record it! I had to. I wanted to know if I had a right to hate her or not. And, well, I must say, I think I, in fact, do have a right to hate her.

She isn't funny... Well sometimes she was a bit humorous, but I was laughing at her not with her. She is spoiled, selfish, conceited, rude, annoying, (I could keep going). Just another Brit you say? I say, "No way!" First of all, okay, fine, she was in the Spice Girls, they were "successful" by financial standards but that wasn't music we were listening to... She fell off the face of the American planet until she hit the big time with David Beckham. Boy did she strike it rich right there... Therefore, all the money that followed her down the aisle, created this amazing monster we see today.

I need to stop. Breathe. I am getting too involved in this... This is exactly what they wanted. "They" meaning NBC. They wanted me, the audience, to remember her, to want to see her live in her self-indulgent non-reality universe. They want me to keep recording the damn show. They want me to hate her but secretly love her. Oh no, am I loving hating Victoria Beckham?