Age of Love... What they really meant to say is: Age of Lust

I don't know much about the history of this show... And by history I mean 5 weeks. I don't even know the "formula" of this reality show but who really needs to know all of that when this is supposed to represent some form of the real world anyway.

I caught "Age of Love" mid-episode, twentysomethings frolicking on the beach and a cougar throwing a fit under an umbrella. I didn't want to watch it but my friend had it recorded on DVR- I had no choice really.

My main problem with reality shows that feature a "bachelor" and a slew of "single" women is the kissing. Of course, it wouldn't be worth watching if Mark P. wasn't a slut of some form. But how is it attractive to watch the guy (you supposedly are in love with) making out with ten different women- in front of you? I mean, the worst part is, a twentysomething girl will be laying in his Moroccan cradle and he will tell her that his feelings are mutual, blah, blah blah and then he'll vanish for a half-an-hour with some fortysomething and feed her the same crap. Then he makes out and plays footsies and back scratch under the covers- with both of them at the same time. It's disturbing how this "famous" tennis player, who by the way has the suckiest Australian accent ever, thinks he is actually "caring" for these women... He just wants action and he'll kiss, touch, and sex `em all until he has found "the one".

Of course it needs to be said that the women on the show aren't very smart and are downright conniving. Perhaps they are playing the same game of Advantage - Love with Mark P that he is with them... It's only right that the 40s get their share of young lovin', they have the right.

And sadly, us, as a loyal audience will be so disappointed when we hear that him and the chosen lady have broken up. We must be aware that he and the winner are in hiding right now as I type this good-for-nothing vent. Then, when the story breaks, the media will be so "overwhelming" that they just can't take the scrutinization of the public microscope. Pathetic.

And I have one more complaint: where the heck was Mark Consuelos during the whole show? He wasn't even there for the elimination... Lame.

Victoria Beckham is Coming to America... Can we send her back?

Desperate to escape Hollywood, I am only sucked back in by it's gripping claws.

I visited London last year and I heard that Ms. Posh Spice otherwise known as Mrs. David Beckham, is much like America's perception of Paris Hilton... A waste of space. I laughed as I usually do at these tidbits of information.

Recently, I cringed at the thought that L.A's Galaxy team brought on board "soccer superstar" David Beckham... During the last bout of championships, I watched him play, wherever that was, and thought, "Hmm, that's weird, he sucks." So it's only befitting that someone who is now a deflating soccer athelete join L.A's "football" team. And it's only proper that sponsors throw millions of dollars at his feet (or really at Posh's high-heeled feet).

I want to be one of those people who say, "I don't have a television." But really, who am I kidding? I even have a fancy DVR now, so I can record a bunch of crap I don't need to infect my brain with. I found this wildly tittilating NBC reality show that said the words "Victoria Beckham" in the title, and, intrigued, I could not not record it! I had to. I wanted to know if I had a right to hate her or not. And, well, I must say, I think I, in fact, do have a right to hate her.

She isn't funny... Well sometimes she was a bit humorous, but I was laughing at her not with her. She is spoiled, selfish, conceited, rude, annoying, (I could keep going). Just another Brit you say? I say, "No way!" First of all, okay, fine, she was in the Spice Girls, they were "successful" by financial standards but that wasn't music we were listening to... She fell off the face of the American planet until she hit the big time with David Beckham. Boy did she strike it rich right there... Therefore, all the money that followed her down the aisle, created this amazing monster we see today.

I need to stop. Breathe. I am getting too involved in this... This is exactly what they wanted. "They" meaning NBC. They wanted me, the audience, to remember her, to want to see her live in her self-indulgent non-reality universe. They want me to keep recording the damn show. They want me to hate her but secretly love her. Oh no, am I loving hating Victoria Beckham?